At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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