dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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