I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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