ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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