I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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