I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Sorry my hands just texted you
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
