How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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