He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Dignity is for republicans.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
