Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize