i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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