i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
