I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
