I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize