just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
please come you make the beer taste better
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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