we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
