you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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