Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
