im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
