I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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