look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
