Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
