Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
