I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just had sex bonerless
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
