Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
