Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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