I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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