how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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