u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
