"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
