Walk of Shame. In a state park.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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