Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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