I'm drive I can fine osifer
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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