try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Randomize
