honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
