i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
