I wish I could teleport
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
