Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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