We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
