I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
