Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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