Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
