Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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