I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My balls are so social today.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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