Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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