I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
