I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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