Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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