Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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