He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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