Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So vagazzling was a success
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
