I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
