I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
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