I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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