The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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