Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
