Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
its liver damage thursday
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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