Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize