Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
