We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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