Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
