so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Randomize
