how hairy? two words: wookie tits
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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