Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The air taste purple.
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