The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
