carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
