I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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