her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
