sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
