She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
