Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
