i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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